January 2013
2 posts
3 tags
I think it should be illegal for girls to not allow people to snoop around their Facebook pictures…..
New year’s resolution: accept myself… Since it has been proven I can’t love myself at least I could learn to accept myself.
December 2012
3 posts
theunknownjourney:
videohall:
Kid walking dog stops to play in the puddle
This makes me so happy :)
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW this is beautiful!
November 2012
7 posts
My favorite part of the day is when I wake up without an alarm, after a pleasant dream- That second before reality sinks in.
Then, just like clockwork, anxiety and depression fall back into their places. Faithful companions… The voices on my shoulders. Quite frankly, the only voices I hear. I hear them behind every word from everyone. I hear them behind every letter I read.. every...
I seriously think I’ve underestimated and did not cherish hugs… I’ve been craving a real hug really bad the last couple of weeks. To the point I want to ask random people…
Me at work talking to my co-worker who happens to be Christian: “why are you decapitating Santa?” Her: “I don’t care for Santa. I just want to get his hat and beard to decorate my cubicle”
Me: “you don’t care for Santa”
Her: “nope, he’s not what christmas is about. I care and love for Christmas. Not Santa. I work hard to get my kids...
I really should seek professional help
I’m entering numbness. More like comfortable depression but let’s call it being numb
October 2012
5 posts
So when I feel overwhelmed and frustrated I quickly go to a dark place. Very easy and unwarranted thoughts of suicide pass through my head. Scary how easy and often. But I know I will never act on them. I know it. I don’t wanna die. I am scared. Scared of pain. I’m a coward. But now I’m even starting to feel guilty just thinking about it. It is as I don’t have control of...
Kinda sucks when the only thing you’ve got going on is your job - all you talk about.
Especially when your job is boring and most people don’t give a shit about it.
/sigh
I’m going to take a break from people indefinitely… Catch up with some reading, guitar playing and masturbating
So this thought popped in my head last night while trying to fall asleep. I’m 3 years away from 30. At my age my dad had my sister. At my age my dad lived with my mom, married in their own house. At my age my dad supported not only himself but his parents and younger brother. My dad is 3 year away from 60. 13 years away from 70…. Soon he will need the help of his children, us. I know...
September 2012
1 post
August 2012
5 posts
Pros vs Cons
Cons:
Useless
Talentless
Idiot
Unlearned
Disposable
Ghost
Insignificant
Naive
Too emotional
Childish
Anger problems
Suicidal
Depressed
Anxious
Pussy
Pushover
Ugly
Sick
Addicted
Weak
Fuck up
Crybaby
Leash
No future
Etc..
Pros:
I mean no harm.
Saturday Thoughts
Boobies…. Boobies everywhere
Experiencing the dating scene, from the outside looking in…. I am not meant for this. This disgusts me. I rather be alone.
Well… Time to boost my privacy settings on FB. Whatever that means.
Missed the signs and did not read the writings on wall. Now as I roam with no direction with hopes to find back my orbit, I feel trapped with a weak-infected soul.
The fire grows dimmer and each breath is heavier. I can’t believe this and I can’t accept this fate. My wings will not spread - the winds are now my enemy. Will the fire burn again?
July 2012
2 posts
Where do I see myself in 5 years?
I haven’t been able to answer that question since I was 15. Actually, as long as I can remember I thought, nay, I KNEW I was going to be dead at age 16.. Now I’m here in the unknown at age 27. 11 years after my expiration date.
Why don’t I feel like doing anything at all? Like, nothing at all. It’s gotten to the point that I’m debating going back to sleep but I don’t even want to move from computer chair. It’s that bad.
I want to be alone but at the same time I don’t.
June 2012
1 post
I feel great disconnection from people….
I’ve been leading a very sheltered life. Only now I’m beginning to realize… Can’t trust anyone. Keep shit to myself.
May 2012
7 posts
I kinda need
Someone to talk to. Someone who will not judge me or think I’m weak. I don’t need or want advice. I just want someone to hear me whine and complain…. I need a hug.
That Awkward moment when you haven't been in a...
Nor have been talking to anyone in such a long time that you don’t know if you’re heartbroken, massive anxiety attack or just plain dying.
Tumblr
Is pretty much the same thing as livejournal for me. :(
well...
… at least I know I don’t have a hormone deficiency.
There’s always a bright side to things. Even as dark as shitty as it is.
I guess tomorrow I’ll have to put my mouth where I promised her I would.
February 2012
4 posts
now overdue
a nice long cry session. I feel heavy. It’s been awhile since my last nonsensical cry.
also:
Given a massage
Cuddling
on, and sex.
My dick is far too dry and it needs to be wet.
My yearly douchebag post
It is unnatural how much I love boobs .
January 2012
1 post
Christians
I am not one to bitch about religion. That’d mean I care about it. Actually, it is pretty interesting how little I care about few things. Some people might call me ignorant - and they’d probably be right. Some other might call selfish - they’d probably be right too. Some others might call me aloof and do not want to bother about things I don’t have control over and are...
December 2011
4 posts
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2011-12-18) →
Mortiis (11)
Iced Earth (4)
Primal Fear (3)
Revolution Renaissance (2)
Avantasia (2)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2011-12-4) →
Edguy (28)
Gamma Ray (6)
Stratovarius (3)
Primal Fear (3)
Grave Digger (3)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Clearly
Not my proudest moment.
Humanity really need to focus on building a time machine. :(
Bad things are coming.
is that time of the month
Commence the pre-cry breaths….
I really could use a cry.
November 2011
9 posts
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2011-11-27) →
Iron Savior (5)
Stratovarius (4)
Depeche Mode (3)
Iced Earth (3)
Tierra Santa (3)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2011-11-20) →
Megadeth (1)
Nile (1)
Celtic Frost (1)
Dawn of Ashes (1)
Obituary (1)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Decide not to wear all black for once before...
They all decide to go to a goth club
Paraphrasing my uncle
“I know how to send an Email but I don’t know how to open Excel and just type numbers with columns and rows”
now that I think about it
I haven’t or been hugged since the trip to Texas. And before that even longer. I really need one now.
This job is truly appealing to my anal retentive side. Also to my asshole side.